No bruises. No burns. No cuts. Physically I'm fine. But I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm frightened. Find any state of mind that shall describe an agitated state of mind, anxious, nervous and many more and I am that. But not excited.
Why? Because I had to take the bus back. Because I didn't know who will ride the bus with me. Because there were loved ones whom I couldn't call and because I live in a building where live another four hundred people whom I do not know. The city had been attacked for a third time in just over five years. The serial blasts that happened in the suburban trains in Mumbai in 2006. The open gunfire attack of November 2008, which lasted more than two full days, in the heart of the city, targeting civilians, foreign nationals, security personnel alike. And, the latest triple blasts. In the meantime there have been Hyderabad, Jaipur, Bangalore, Delhi, Malegaon, Guwahati...
Are we not allowed a little peace? A little peace on the streets? A little peace around us and a little peace inside us? Is that too much to ask for?
Promises have been made, but Promises are meant to be broken. Aren’t they? It’s more an abuse to me, directed by the few hundred elected to safeguard the country and its people. The few chosen to provide the feel good factor. And what do we know about them, over the years they have inflated pockets and bank balances that would put the turnover of the biggest corporations a drop in the ocean. The price not the cost, of living, is so high that millions of the billions choose not to live, another millions cannot live.
Countless number of people have lost their lives and what have we done about it? Appreciated a few films like ‘A Wednesday’, ‘Mumbai Meri Jaan’.
We went ahead and hailed the Mumbai spirit. The city never backs away. Only to be targeted again? Spirit breaks. Ask the ones who lost their near and dear ones. Ask those who saw death right in front of their eyes and ask those who cheated death by a whisker!
I don’t conform to the Mumbai spirit; to me it is just deceit. A deception in plain sight, created to keep the machinery running. To assure the people who survived to come out and die another day. To tell those who lost their families that the rest of the city does not care about your loss.
Calls weren’t connected. Communication channels were severed. Chaos was the order and panic was served. Lives were lost. Damn. It was nothing less than an emergency but our political leaders would not acknowledge that. It would be a sad day, a black spot on their resume. The country has been put up for sale.
In the minutes of madness, my strength, my composure and my resolve were being put to test. People I loved were on the streets. I was on the streets. The lives of millions of people were at stake. The smile on their faces, gone, vanished, taken away. Time in their lives had been replaced with moments of extreme paranoia. Life around me, my life was compromised.
No, I don’t conform to the Mumbai spirit, not with my life, my smile on the line.
